midnight mass

midnight mass christmas eve and already, the 27th,
there's butchers blood on my shoes and I can't keep my palms clean.
it's nearly time for my conscience to come calling from tulsa.

later, the sky is gold and blue and pink, and I'm in the back seat
following a smudge of black birds with my eyes
then our station wagon intersects underneath.

later, the bike ride from your apartment tasted like snow
and I was hyper-aware of my hands on the grip
and I thought of all my molecules separately when I was home.

it was cold as sin and I was hungry as sin and the low
warm fog gave me energy for an hour.  the sunlight that eased
inside all afternoon escaped orange through the blinds.

good friends, I have a dream of wholeness:
for this year, I'm a mass of tissue stronger than a paper trail,
brighter than projection, and as warm as blood

a rant, fully out of context

I think Wilde is wrong, wrong in that flowers are useless
or that art is a mood
I think it's more like a mind that is displayed
on a pedestal
and so we have a conversation with it.

discussion brings reform and we want to be reformed!

not polite or civil, but constantly reshaped and resharpened
by the world in a painter's creation.

and today, the trending photography in blurs and browns?
oh, it's fashionable
for a reason
and thus for only a use. then let's not overuse!
let's not follow the shy colors and mixed shapes of Fall
with Fall with Fall with Fall.

it's old because it's in style.

and on Miro, is art more than the aesthetic
we give to it?
can we revel in the ugly because we appreciate
how it hasn't been done before?
I hope so, in that case we can relax our critique.

no! no! ugly is easy. too easy, almost accidentally easy
and art is in the challenges
that make it profound.
it challenges me and I want to admire someone
who can overcome better than I.

there isn't a disconnect
between what we make and what influences us.
you'll never separate our habits
from the atomic structure of our hands.
meaning this: as detached as we make ourselves
there is always a cause
which is often unseen and unnoticed by the viewer.

but art is an effect! effects have causes
and causes are us.

and who is a sculptor
besides the person who visits the quarry, the tool store
and prepares the garage space?

or a painter
besides the student who learns the right techniques
and has a set of brushes.

there's no distinction between who is real
and who is an immature creator. And we wish there was
a divide
but we aren't sure what side we'd be on.
and there's beauty in the comparable
when the man and woman behind them
are so dissimilar.

I for one am done comparing myself
to my peers
to find any worth. I want to match up against my heroes
and find a similarity
and say 'yes, this is valuable in me as well'
and move on
and keep creating.

yes, I'll never be known as the artist
or writer. OK.

I can agree with Oscar on one point:
art isn't about selling or the money.
apartments are and their rent is
food is
gasoline is
galleries are
but not the works themselves!
when we make a new friend we like to show them
our home, as with a painting.
and then the price is born.

the artist has to get by.
but aren't artists motivated by the money?
yes. yes. yes.
but money is made more easily elsewhere.